the LIST

...to travel the world..ALONE.
...to make paintings..that will be known all throughout the world.
...to stop worrying..and just live life like there's no tomorrow.
...to be a chef..and have my own restaurant.
...to learn how to play the drums.
...to swim under the sea..with all the different creatures.
...to be lost in a maze..and find my way back.
...to publish a book..and hopefully be a bestseller.
...to read and understand the bible.
...to sit on the roof..and gaze at the stars.
...to climb a tree..and pick a fruit.
...to have my own house..built on an island.
...to meet my soulmate..and marry him.
...to get married on top of a hill or at the beach.
...to sing on stage..with a huge crowd.
...to cut my hair really short.
...to get a tattoo..just a small one though.
...to taste exotic food.
...to have twins..a boy and a girl.
...to actually finish reading a book.
...to do charitable works.
...to go to church and focus on God alone.
...to compose a song..and have eejay sing it infront of everyone.
...to die peacefully.
...to gain more friends..true ones.
...to see myself on huge billboards.
...to have a tiffany engagement ring.
...to drive an audi tt.
...to learn how to dance.
...to be with the one i love..for the rest of my life.
...to give my kids a great life.
...to wake up each morning with my husband beside me.
...to be a loving wife to my husband..and a cool mom to my kids.
...to have my own cooking show.
...to appreciate life more.
...to find complete happiness.
...to be brave enough to face life's difficulties.
...to be closer to God.
...to continue living my life without regrets.
...to let go of the things that complicate my life.
...to find someone who will never let me go.
...to love myself first.


(the list goes on as i get older..)

-JJGH-

one more day..

if i had just one more day with you:

...i would cook all your favorite food.
...i would never stop staring at you.
...i would never stop giving you kisses.
...i would wash the dishes with you.
...i would watch tv with you..'til we fall asleep.
...i would listen to your songs.
...i would patiently learn how to play the guitar..
...i would record a song of you and i..like what you've always wanted.
...i would go to church with you.
...i would sketch a picture of you.
...i would go to the park with you and ashanti.
...i would drive to the places where you want to go.
...i would never stop laughing at your jokes.
...i would take lots of pictures of us.
...i would tell you everything i love about you.
...i would hold your hand while walking.
...i would introduce you to my whole family.
...i would sing a song for you.
...i would say I LOVE YOU every second.

...and lastly ...i would hug you so tight..without saying anything else..and just walk away..walk away..and never look back..

i'll just keep walking..and hope i won't stumble down..because if i did..i might get back on my feet again..and run back to you..


-JJGH-

missing you

i miss the times when:

...you make me laugh..that no one else can do..
...you and martin surprise me and lugin with a rose..
...you teach me how to play the guitar..
...you appreciate the things i do..my sketches and my poems..
...you tell me that you love me..
...you read my poems..and make them into songs..
...you come to my house..just to say that you miss me..even if i was just with you the whole day..
...you call me..and sing for me thru the phone..
...you took me to a place..and told me that were gonna build our house there..
...we just stay home..with nothing else to do..but to stare at each other..
...we just sit on the couch and you play the guitar..and sing for me..
...we go out with the "babe's"..just the 4 of us..and do nothing but laugh..and enjoy each other's company..
...we drive around..looking for my favorite food..
...we talk about our future together..

we may not have the so-called perfect love..but i will never forget the love we've shared..you are someone that i will never forget..you will forever stay in MY HEART..our story is the best part ever..though it didn't end up with a happy ending..i'm happy that once in my life..you became a part of it..and you made it whole..


-JJGH-

"one- way love"

i love him
but he doesn't know


i miss him
but he doesn't care


i need him
but he doesn't have a clue


how will i let you know
that the very first time i saw you
i fell deeply in love


but i know this is only a one-way love
i'll be stuck in love with you
and you loving someone else


-JJGH-

"HOW?"

how do i let go of the person i truly love..?
the only person who gave me the happiness i was longing for..
the only person who gave sense to my life..
the only person who realized my worth..
the only person who made me feel complete
the only person who made me feel contented, couldn't ask for more..
the only person i imagined spending the rest of my life with..
the only person i'm willing to fight for 'till the end..

the worst part of all this is..

the person i truly love is..
the one who broke my heart into shattered pieces..
the one who made me believe in all his lies..
the one who left me hanging..

yet..

i'm willing to spend the rest of my life loving..



-JJGH-